BREAKING NEWS: Home Kong Kitchen mascot and volunteer baker Mojo has launched an appeal for Homekongers to ‘Stop the Woofing Panic Buying‘ and ‘Make Hong Kong Barely Tolerable Again‘! The poo was moved to launch his campaign by the troubling sight of supermarket shelves stripped bare, which was threatening (but never once prevented) HKK‘s ability to bake, donate and deliver epic quantities of food to the homeless, migrants in need and refugees at the peak of the 5th Wave. To prove his commitment to his cause, Mojo then stole and fraudulently used my credit card to purchase himself a new hat emblazoned with his slogan while I was out pounding the wastelands of Sai Kung for dog food (also in short supply due to pets taking after their owners – and panic buying).
Within seconds of launching his appeal, Carrie Lam announced she would not be running for a second term as Chief Executive. Government sources refused to confirm or deny whether Mojo had influenced her decision. However, Junius Ho warned that Mojo’s hat might have contravened the National Security Law. Police are still investigating whether the poodle colluded with foreign forces when he purchased the hat on Amazon.